If you have ever been on a Carnival cruise, you have probably seen the Alchemy Bar. It is a specialized cocktail bar where the bartenders are trained mixologists, ready to prepare personalized cocktails tailored to your preference. They have an interesting cocktail menu and a cult like following, of which I readily admit I am a card-carrying member.

As long as you are on a cruise that has at least one sea day, and you have a willing mixologist you may be able to sign up for the Mixology class. This class is not advertised, and it fills up quickly with the folks that ask about it early on. Usually the class is limited to 12-14 folks but that is ultimately up to the host.

Not too long ago, I was on the Carnival Elation and the Mixology class was offered on our one sea day. I signed up immediately, in fact, I asked about it on Day One at about 4:05pm, five minutes after the Alchemy Bar opened. I have done this class several times but each one is slightly different as each Mixologist brings something unique to the class. This one was no exception.

Now, I mentioned I have been to several of these over the years. Allow me to impart some hard-learned lessons to you in the hopes that you will not make the same mistakes I made in my early days. Number ONE – EAT FIRST! Do not come to the Mixology class on an empty stomach. You will be drinking, a lot. You do not want all that alcohol sitting on an empty stomach. Have a meal an hour or so before the class…you will thank me later. Next, number TWO – Do not come to the class already drunk. I know, you have the drink package and you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning. And I am not saying that you shouldn’t have your breakfast Bailey’s and Coffee or Bloody Mary. Just don’t have all 15 of your drinks before class.

Okay, with those helpful lessons out of the way, onto the class. The class happens at the Alchemy Bar, before the bar officially opens for the day. You will sit down to a set up something like this:

Three small martini tasting glasses, a Boston shaker set, and a bottle of water. This is the first time I have also been given the pencil and paper but it was greatly appreciated as this class also had another first for me at the end and I was glad to have the pencil and paper to remember it!

Our Mixologist this session was Vladan. His passion is the history of spirits.

We got a history of each of the major spirits: Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila, and Whiskey, with sidebars about Scotch and Cognac. These are the base of most cocktails made in the world today. We then moved on to modifiers: Liquors, syrups, sodas, bitters, etc. Things that make the cocktail tasty. And finally to balancers: Fruit, herbs, veggies, etc.

Now, most of us, when we make a cocktail are good with bases and modifiers. However few of us bother with the balancers. I mean who has time to slap your mint when you just want a drink? Vladan was on a mission to show us why it is worth the time.

We started with the Martini Seduction, a vodka based drink.

Martini Seduction
2oz Grey Goose L’Orange Vodka
0.75oz Red Passion Fruit Nectar
2oz Lime Juice
2oz Orange Juice
Mix all ingredients in a shaker cup with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass. Swirl and orange peel around the rim if you want to get fancy!

Now, at the Alchemy bar, they make their own passion fruit nectar, but in the spirit of Contessa Ina Garten, “If you don’t have your own red passion fruits to squeeze, store bought is fine.”

Next up, the Perfect Storm, a rum based drink.

Perfect Storm
1oz White Rum
1oz Spiced Rum
1oz Cranberry juice
1oz Lime juice
0.75oz Strawberry syrup
Mix all ingredients in a shaker cup with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass…again.

As the finishing touch, Vladan had us taste the cocktail, then he gave us a sprig of rosemary, told us to “spank” it (if you know, you know!), then swirl it in the drink and taste it again. It was totally different, and still delicious. Okay…I get it…This is why we don’t skip the balancers. For extra credit, he then sprinkled a tiny bit of cinnamon on top and we tasted again. Now it tastes like Christmas!

Our next drink was a first for me. We, (the drinkers) were supposed to collaborate on a third drink using the information Vladan had given us about taste, balance, etc. We had already made a Vodka drink and we had already made a Rum drink so we decided our drink would be either Gin, Tequila, or Whiskey/Bourbon. Ultimately we decided on Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon.

Custom Collaboration Martini
2oz Woodford Reserve
2oz Grand Marnier
0.75oz Simple syrup
4-5 dashes Cherry Bitters
Mix all ingredients in a shaker cup with ice. Strain into a chilled martini glass, one more time. Our garnish this time, was a cherry, one of those yummy Luxardo cherries, not the plastic maraschino ones.

Now, if you have ever been a bartender, or even just made some cocktails in your home, you may realize that what we made as our collaborative cocktail is really just an all liquid version of a standard Old Fashioned. We just took the fruits that would have been muddled and replaced them with liquid versions of them. Hey what can I say…if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Vladan was telling us some horror stories of other classes attempts at new flavor combinations and really, some of them were vile. All I can say is if you ever invite me to your house and serve me a drink with gold tequila, Malibu coconut rum, and blue curacao, know that I am calling the police.

You would think that by now, we had had plenty to drink. And you would be correct since the martini glasses kept getting refilled! But this was not the end. Aleksandra swung by to support Vladan and she mentioned that he makes his own concoction called Peanut Butter and Jam. Well of course we had to try that!

This is a mixture of Screwball PB Whiskey, Berry liquor and cream. It tastes just like the name. Peanut butter and Jam. Now I am not a fan of Screwball personally so this was not my favorite of the day, but it was drinkable.

And that was that. At the end of the class we were all presented with our Diploma proving we had learned a small part of the magic of the Alchemists…If we could remember what we had learned!

Then we all took pictures of the group, spent a drunk few minutes trying to figure out AirDrop, and went on our merry way.

Bottom line? If you like learning fun bar stuff that will surely impress the paper bag drunks at your next party, sign up for the class. It costs extra, less than one drink though and it is totally worth it. If I’m on board, I’ll see you there!